Jokes about beauty number 8
1. The “Perfect” Diet
A woman says to her girlfriend:
I went to see a dietician. He forced me to follow a very strict diet, no more than 1.200 calories a day.
– It seems too difficult for you!
– I felt the same, so then I went to another doctor to see what happened.
– What did the second doctor say?
– This man said I can eat up to 1.300 calories a day. So I decided to follow both diets at the same time, so I didn’t get hungry. Isn’t that great!
-!!!
2.One side breast lift
A certain girl has a pretty salty face but always thinks that her breasts are too small. Obsessed with that thought, she kept begging, ooh mom for money to go to a breast augmentation beauty salon. Because the family is not well off, the mother often dismisses it or tries to delay it, but the daughter does not give up and continues to insist. In the end, the mother’s frugality gave way to compassion for her children. She asked:
How much does a surgery like that cost?
– Oh! Thanks Mom! Did you agree?
– cried the daughter.
– It’s not worth much, about 4.000 dollars.
Concerned mother:
– Well, my daughter… I don’t regret you, but our family’s economic situation is quite tight, not enough for you to do cosmetic work…
Seeing her daughter with a sad face, the mother loved:
– Or, we can do it wherever we go. Let me lift one breast up first!
Jokes about beauty number 9
1.Praise
My eldest daughter is 16 years old this year and started to get acquainted with cosmetics. Once, just because it took too long to paint, my whole family was late to watch a movie. Standing outside the theater, my husband grumbled:
– Page with no points, just wasting time, tearing up the work. You see your mother, she never wears makeup.
-But mom doesn’t need makeup
– The angry daughter.
Before I could blow my nose proudly, he continued:
– No one is sad to see mom.
2.Tip
A woman entered a fashion store and, after trying on for a while, said to the saleswoman:
“You got me a dress like this, but two numbers larger.
– But did she fit this number?
– Yes, but I want my husband to think I’ve lost weight.
Jokes about beauty number 1
1.Selling cosmetics
This is a high quality cosmetic product. Bad people who use this cosmetic for a while can be beautiful.
– She sells advertising like that.
– Then why don’t you use it? – 1 customer asked.
2. Don’t want to be “beautiful all week”
– The British often say: “A beautiful girl, wearing the same clothes all week is still beautiful”. What do I need to change a new shirt every day?
– I want to be more beautiful every day!
Jokes about beauty number 2
1.Aesthetic art
Two young girls talking to each other:
– When you go to the beauty salon to complain that they damaged your face, eyes, nose, what do they say?
– They waved their hands away from responsibility.
– How dare they be so irresponsible?
Because they don’t recognize me at all!
2.Suitable height for overweight wife
– Hey, do you think I’m fat?
Her husband looked at her shyly:
– No, I’m not fat at all.
Tun shook his head.
“You lied to me, didn’t you?” These days, everyone I meet calls me fat.
Her husband thought for a long time and then replied:
– It’s not that I’m fat, it’s just that my height is not commensurate with my weight, so I look a bit thick.
Next asked:
– So in your opinion, with your current weight, how tall and beautiful are you?
Her husband replied succinctly:
– Four meters.
– !?!
Jokes about beauty number 7
1. Reinventing
The two agreed to meet him at the brasserie you. One brother blamed:
– Why didn’t you come last week?
– At the error of using words.
– What is?
‘My wife took too long to put on makeup, I reminded her, and she took out her car keys and disappeared.
– What are you talking about?
– I said: “How long did it take you to restore?”
– Deserved. What about the long scratch on the other hand?
– Still the same error.
– “Stick” without learning experience.
– It’s already withdrawn, I have completely changed the word “restore” to the word “restore”.
-!!!
2.Go to the beauty salon
My husband drives me crazy! I asked for 500 USD to go to the beauty salon…
– Star ? That stingy old man won’t let you?
– Are not! He looked at me for a while from head to toe and then gave me $1.000.
Jokes about beauty number 10
1.Meet a cosmetologist
A beautiful lady who has already withered away enters a nationally famous beauty salon, demanding to see the best doctor there.
When she was satisfied, she nervously asked:
– Doctor, can you intervene to make my face young and beautiful again?
The doctor looked intently at the old woman and replied:
– Sorry Mrs! The forbidden beheading took place only in Bao Cong’s Kaifeng residence…
2.Don’t rush to celebrate
A fat woman stepped on the scale:
– Oh, today I lost 2 kg!
– Yes, but she hasn’t put on makeup today.
Jokes about beauty number 4
1. His father sat and talked about his wife
– My wife put on makeup, her eyelashes are as green as the willow of the Sword Lake in September.
– My wife put on makeup, her lips are pink like the lotus in Truc Bach lake in April.
– And my wife is the only one – One man looks much better – Just a little, but the toenails and nails are like ostrich nails in Thu Le park!
2.Keep the old style
– Now, if anyone wants to cut my throat and peel my skin, I will also decide not to wear skirts on the street…!
– It’s not a waste of time for a young girl to keep her old habits like that. Do you think about the beauty of a woman?
– Yes… yes yes, if the scabies goes away, there must be many big scars left!
– Huh?!
Jokes about beauty number 5
1.Advertisement
Customer:
– Last time, you advertised this shampoo very well. He presented it very well and convinced me to buy a lot!
Shopkeeper:
– Well, what do you need now?
– Please re-advertise it for me, you see, my hair falls out most of the time!
2. Discounted Breast Augmentation
Korean plastic surgery trend was quickly introduced to Vietnam. Beauty salons have sprung up like mushrooms, and sisters are racing to repair their “goods”. And of course, the stores all have discounts for women. One girl went for discount breast augmentation surgery and felt like she was a few years younger. Stepping out of the doctor’s room, the first thing she met immediately asked:
– How old do you think I am?
– Nineteen?
She smiled happily.
– No, I’m twenty-nine!
Like it very much, entering the lingerie store, she asked the salesman:
– How old do you think I am?
– I’m twenty?
– No, I’m twenty-nine, sister!
At the bus stop, she asked an old man:
– How old do you think I am?
– Try to take off your shirt!
She was very upset, but the old man insisted that she could tell her age just by looking at her breasts. Excited, the girl unbuttoned the top buttons. The old man, after considering the agreement, said:
– You’re twenty-nine years old, aren’t you?
– How do you know! – The girl was surprised.
– I was in line just behind you in the lingerie store.
After saying this, the old man laughed happily and disappeared, leaving the girl standing blankly on the road.
Jokes about beauty number 6
1.Children
– Honey, this new hat makes me 10 years younger.
– Why don’t you buy two!
2. The boss called the secretary and an employee to his office.
– Miss Marta! Mr. Schuls here complains that you came wearing a skirt that was too short.
I can’t bear that.
Mr. Schuls, you’ve been fired!
Jokes about beauty number 3
1. Ugly women are men’s misfortunes
The wife stood in front of the mirror and looked at it for a while, then let out a sigh:
– God, am I this old, fat and ugly?
Seeing that her husband did not pay any attention, the wife continued to lament:
– Women are really miserable. After having a husband and children, her beauty is ruined, now it is so tragic that she does not dare to look in the mirror anymore.
The husband sat reading a newspaper nearby and said:
“You’re luckier than I am, what are you complaining about?”
Angry wife:
– Men, you don’t have to worry about losing color, and even told me to be luckier.
The husband let go of the newspaper and sighed.
– She looked at herself in front of the mirror for a few minutes and was already so miserable. And I have to watch from day to month without complaining.
– !?!
2.The follower block
Two men sit and talk to each other:
– How is your wife these days?
– She’s still good, but the lipstick is too flashy.
– Has she gone downhill?
– That’s bad for her. Several times when she angrily carried her basket out to the street, there were still a lot of people running after her.
– So?
– YES. Those robbers.
