Top 9 Harms of “cohabiting”

Even if you are a good, well-educated, filial daughter, when you decide to cohabit with your lover at a young age, your friends and people around you, even your family, have a negative view. about you. They will underestimate you, and if you fall into these categories, you will lose both love and friendship.

More seriously, if you have an unwanted pregnancy, you will have to receive heavy criticism and derision from public opinion because you are a girl, so you will be treated more harshly than men. That will make you feel pressured and very tired, not only that, but it will also cause bad views for the family, sadness for parents, siblings.

Therefore, cohabiting in addition to being a proof of your love for your lover will bring your girlfriend many disadvantages and unpredictable consequences. Please consider carefully before deciding, because it is your future and your own life. Once the “cohabitation” is broken, the female friends are disadvantaged, and the male friends are not unaffected, losing time, health, money, losing many opportunities in life… divided equally. for both sides. Many girlfriends who are stuck after “cohabiting” commit suicide.

The abortion rate in Vietnam has increased rapidly and is now a country with the highest abortion rate in the world, making a significant contribution to the “cohabitation” of young people. They do not have enough economic potential, their awareness of responsibility and consequences is still shallow, often thinking that modernity is “living together”. According to statistics from the US Department of Justice, over the past 15 years, 86% of cohabitations have ended in a breakup. Continuing to track 14% to marriage, the divorce rate of these couples is higher than that of couples who have previously lived separately. Therefore, it can be affirmed that “cohabiting” cannot be a stepping stone for a sustainable marriage.

Once in the same house, you accept to let the rest of your life be controlled by the other person. You will spend most of your time with your lover, often being watched and observed, so you also lose your free life and outside relationships because you don’t have much time for them. Instead of after school, you and your friends gather, eat, talk, relax, you take advantage of going home to take care of your lover or afraid of the other person’s suspicion and questioning.

Every outing has a lover beside you, making you uncomfortable talking to friends of the opposite sex. It seems that you are losing your active and cheerful personality. Because of fear of jealous lovers, you always talk in moderation in front of friends of the opposite sex, not daring to show your true self anymore.

Moreover, because only two people consider each other as husband and wife, and society and family do not, so there is no one to help this “couple” when facing difficulties and small problems in love so that it doesn’t happen. broke out into a great contradiction; There is no one to protect this “family” when a third person is watching. And the fear of getting pregnant before the end of the “cohabiting” period will make the “trial couple” sex life of young people never have the natural happiness as in a valid marriage. France.

Two people have decided to contribute rice to blow rice together, meaning that the freedom of one is being controlled by the other and vice versa. No more scenes coming home from school is dating and eating with friends all night without anyone controlling. You do not dare to invite friends to your room to gather for fear that your friends will see it and then it will be very troublesome for your parents.

Every outing has a lover beside you, making you uncomfortable talking to friends of the opposite sex. It seems that you are losing your active and cheerful personality. Because of fear of jealous lovers, you always talk in moderation in front of friends of the opposite sex, not daring to show your true self anymore.

Due to living far away from home, lack of affection, lack of material, or maybe because of competing and following a wrong mentality because the doctrine of “secularism” is freely promoted in all forms in social life. Some of you don’t like to get married when your career is not stable and you can’t let “Where parents put it, I sit there”. Their strong ideology helps them to be more open about their sexuality and no longer afraid of public opinion before. According to Dr. Huynh Van Son, head of the psychology department of Ho Chi Minh City University of Education. One of the reasons why young people live before marriage is that they live too freely, live far away from home, lack affection, and live loosely.

One of the consequences of cohabiting is the neglect of education. Try to imagine that when they were still in school, after every class or volunteer activities, the girls would rush home to take care of meals for both of them, and then take care of many things like life. married life from money, to small jobs such as cooking, washing.

19, 20 years old to have too many worries and concerns in family life, not to mention the arguments that occur between the two of you will make you sad, frustrated, no longer have the mind or motivation to study, lose too much time to care and care for each other. When living together, if you don’t spend more time together than before, you will feel your feelings fade away, so you will neglect your studies to take care of each other. mind and go out with your lover.

Therefore, ladies, please consider carefully before deciding to cohabit with your lover, because there are many problems that both of you can’t anticipate in the process of living together, which may cause you to accidentally live together. forget your main task is to study and have a stable future.

The problem of you alone sometimes makes you feel tired, the pressure, let alone the problems of both of you, not only take care of yourself but also have to take care of another person. Not only that, in the process of living together, especially at a young age, you are not mature enough in thought and action, when there is disagreement or argument between two people, it will easily cause impulsive behaviors. .

The pressures in study plus life will make you very tired, stressed, and even miserable if you don’t find a way to solve the problem. Especially, if the conflict is too big, it will easily lead to unpredictable consequences. And more importantly, when two people are close to each other, it can lead to unwanted pregnancy or you have to use a lot of birth control pills, both of which are not good for having children in the future. So you should not trade a little physical desire but lose the good life that is waiting for you ahead.

“Cohabiting” brings more difficulties than people imagine about it, and indeed, in “trial” life, people also have less responsibility to each other. “Cohabiting” is not a long-lasting life because most of the time, after a temporary living together, the collisions in daily life easily make people bored with each other, especially the “cohabiting” student couples. having to carry the worry of studying, the worry of “rice and money” is even more frustrating.

“Cohabiting” is very precarious, lacking a specific purpose, so when facing difficulties and conflicts that could be resolved, the two people are easily given up and broken. The mentality of “if you don’t fit, then quit” makes many young people irresponsible to themselves, their lover and their love, “both craving and getting bored” and the relationship fades. Married life will become boring quickly if both do not realize the responsibility to cultivate the relationship is inevitably unsustainable.

A minute of fun with the one you love, the lover’s side is like being in paradise; The brief days together seem to help people feel comfortable mentally and physically, or fully satisfy the desire to live for each other. But its consequences bring great that the insiders often do not anticipate. That is the family’s future turmoil, discord… causing mental confusion for family members.

Besides the emotional pain there is also the physical pain, the consequences of the insider are difficult to predict in the present, because the answer is only in the future. Perhaps only those who are and will be mothers understand the pain of not being able to have children that the consequences of abortions leave behind; Currently, they have no choice but to abort the pregnancy, callously becoming “wild beasts” with the very germ that is growing day by day in the belly. It is the final and inevitable solution of adultery, marriage out of wedlock, or “cohabitation”, in a hurry to “give” to prove the girl’s love, or of wild games…

Once the common life is not built on the solid foundation of the family, it is inevitable that it will easily go to the point of rift and break with very mundane reasons such as jealousy, no longer loving each other, or not. responsible… And that is also the cause of fights and violence between husband and wife… before breaking up. Most women have to suffer many disadvantages.

Sociology professor Linda Waite, after many years of research and teaching, said: “Near-marital couples have gone through painful experiences such as abuse or betrayal without completely realizing it. Any support from the families of both sides. She continued, 16% of women living with their boyfriends were beaten during arguments, while only 5% of women were beaten while living with their husbands.

Other couples, who have children together, are unable to educate their children because they do not feel the spiritual bond of true husband and wife. In particular, the father is very irresponsible, and selfless, does not provide for his child, but considers himself just a “boyfriend” of the child’s mother, and in general, that man has transferred responsibility. raise and teach the child to the mother. Moreover, she also said that the physiological life of people who are not husband and wife is not as harmonious as that of married life.

As mentioned above, in the process of cohabitation, because you are aware it is not marriage, sometimes there is no patience and maturity in thought and action. Disagreements or quarrels that happen often not only break the relationship, hurt both, but also quickly get bored, ending the current life.

“Cohabiting” is very precarious, lacking a specific purpose, so when facing difficulties and conflicts that could be resolved, the two people are easily given up and broken. The mentality of “if you don’t fit, then quit” makes many young people irresponsible to themselves, their lover and their love, “both craving and getting bored” and the relationship fades. Married life will become boring quickly if both do not realize the responsibility to cultivate the relationship is inevitably unsustainable.

Love when cohabiting is not for tolerance and tolerance but for the accumulation of each other’s bad points, to an unbearable level, ready to explode like a ticking time bomb. So, until your love matures and matures day by day, then you should decide to get married, it helps your married life to have many new things, want to explore, always full of color next to dry obligations. Cohabitation will not last as long as you think and even worsen your already good relationship.

Married life is a life that has been witnessed and bound by law and a cohabitation family is a life where only the two of you accept to live together, without any strings attached. Therefore, cohabitation cannot be as sustainable as married life. Once a husband and wife, often at first the wife/husband will be very inhibited or annoyed with some bad habits of the other half, but gradually become acquainted and know how to accept each other for a happier life.

But cohabitation is the complete opposite. At first, the two loved each other’s bad sides, but after living together for a while, the couples felt it was suffocating to live with a “faulty version”.

Once they “give their lives to each other” but do not become husband and wife, they also leave many heart and psychological wounds in the future. Many women miss “experience” in the past, the future has to face the answer about virginity with their partner or when they settle down in their home, their ex harasses and blackmails them; or inferiority complex with family…

All of that, often blocking the way to the good life ahead, and the choice because it’s not perfect. And certainly, there is no chance to enjoy happiness, even for brief moments in earthly life.

All those consequences, more than anyone else, the insiders themselves will have to bear, not only in the present time but also in the future. As a result of “cohabiting”, premarital relations will be boring and if married, their life is often unhappy and followed by a “sad route”. What a pity for today’s youth.

What is more harmful and undeserving, is the misfortune of the children, who may not see the sunshine of their parents’ “callous and cruel” parents; or if born, it will also be weak because of “lack of warmth” from the love of a father or mother. And so, they will be children with abnormal physical and psychological development.

Cohabitation means a man and woman living together as husband and wife without marriage registration, which means that there is no legal marriage relationship between them. The law on marriage and family, which is currently the law on marriage and family 2014, does not provide protection for this type of pre-marital relationship. Therefore, when there is a dispute arising from “Cohabiting”, the relationship between men and women will not be protected by law.

In any love relationship, a girl always takes a disadvantage for herself, especially if that relationship breaks down, not only hurting at that time, but also making it difficult for her girlfriend. in later love and marriage relationships because prejudices and social concepts are still very strict for women. Cohabitation can easily lead to unwanted pregnancy, if that happens, the daughter will be criticized, despised, and denigrated by society.

More seriously, if that relationship does not lead to marriage, then a girl who has made a mistake once in her life is difficult to accept in future relationships and marriages. In addition, trauma will bring negative psychology to women, they alone have to cope with public opinion as well as raise children at a too young age, which is really a very disadvantageous thing for women. If you are in the above situation, don’t think that you can’t marry anyone anymore but just “try to eat sticky rice”. That just makes your beautiful image lost. Go beyond yourself to start over, nothing is too late, as long as you are always full of determination.

If you don’t live together, you just need to take care of a meal for one bowl, now you have to take care of two bowls, you will have to spend more time and effort. Meanwhile, your boyfriend is comfortable not having to worry about eating anymore. You gradually lose close friends because you no longer have time to see them as usual. That time, you have to receive your lover’s friends.

Before living together, you confidently assert yourself, your attraction in the eyes of the other half is increasing. But when you live together, you are worried that your lover will get bored of you and leave you to find a new one, so you will live dependently on him. So you meet all the requirements of your lover. It is your ease and lack of resistance that has gradually lost your lover. He sees you as mistletoe no longer attractive, so turning away is inevitable. If you are in the above situation, don’t think that you can’t marry anyone anymore but just “try to eat sticky rice”. That just makes your beautiful image lost. Go beyond yourself to start over, nothing is too late, as long as you are always full of determination.

“Cohabiting” brings more difficulties than people imagine about it, and indeed, in “trial” life, people also have less responsibility to each other. “Cohabiting” is not a long-lasting life because most of the time, after a temporary living together, the collisions in daily life easily make people bored with each other, especially the “cohabiting” student couples. having to carry the worry of studying, the worry of “rice and money” is even more frustrating.

Because of living together for a long time, all the advantages and disadvantages of the lover will gradually be revealed. Being together every day, meeting each other, even sleeping together will increase the understanding of two people, however, because seeing each other every day will easily cause boredom and boredom for the relationship. Especially, when there is an argument, it also makes you feel bored with your lover. The image of a stylish or beautiful lover is no longer there, but instead a selfish, messy or lazy person…

And the quarrels will thicken over time, so that one day when you turn your back to the past, the romance of love and freedom in the past has disappeared, giving way to life together and worries. fig. Therefore, the love of the two of you will decrease over time, this if it lasts until marriage, it will only be an obligation, really too tedious and tasteless.

The end of living together will make love fade over time because both parties have understood each other so much that they lose their attraction in each other’s eyes. When you realize this, it’s best to have a frank talk with each other, find a satisfactory solution to improve the falling situation of love when you have decided to live together.