Your husband makes decisions without consulting you
When you are in a serious relationship, your decisions also have an impact on your husband. And it’s only natural that you’ll have to make more decisions when your baby is born. Both of you need to compromise more times than ever. However, in many couples, one of them makes a decision alone without consulting the other, and this is what often creates conflict.
Solution: The three keys to joint decision making are sharing, respect and trust. You need to talk to your partner and understand their point of view. And when you do that, you need to respect that and not criticize it. Also, it’s important that you trust your partner when they have to make their own decisions and you don’t always judge them.
You will work more often because of extra tasks.
Before the baby was born, chances are that both husband and wife were working full-time jobs. But now, one of you has to be the primary caregiver, which means most of the housework is done by you. Your husband comes home from work and doesn’t have much energy to help you, which leaves you stressed and angry.
Solution: Instead of arguing and arguing about it, you can ask your husband to do something specific. Mentioning all the to-dos won’t necessarily make your partner want to volunteer to do them. If you give them a clear direction on what to do and how to do it, it will likely be done in no time. After they’ve finished, try saying “thank you,” not to congratulate them but as a demonstration of your appreciation.
The parenting style of the couple is different
As a couple, you may be used to disagreeing about everyday things, like the color of the walls. But now you have a baby in the house, and making decisions for her can be difficult. You and your husband are two different people, and it’s only natural that you disagree sometimes.
Solution: It’s important to sit down and listen to each other’s point of view. There is no “right” or “wrong” and you should make decisions based on what is best for your child. You should put your ego in the backseat and offer constructive criticism to grow. Do not resolve your disagreements in front of your child, as this is what will bring your child down.
You worry a lot about money.
Financial anxiety can begin in the first days of pregnancy and continue to increase for many years after childbirth. You’re not used to having to raise a child and thinking through all the expenses can be stressful for you and your husband.
Solution: If you have a partner, you should start saving money before the baby is born and decide who will be the primary caregiver. You should also decide how long either of you will be out of work. Be sure to check the maternity leave you’re allowed to take along with any other government aid you may be eligible for.
You can also try living on one income for a while before giving birth and saving a second income. This will help you prepare for additional childcare costs and keep you from buying things you don’t need. On the other hand, if you’re a single parent, calculate how much time you can spend at your job. If your parents or a friend can take care of the baby while you go to work, then you will save a lot of money.
Your friends may stop visiting or calling frequently
Most of the people you used to have around you on a daily basis will now start to treat your relationship differently. They realize that the baby is your priority and will probably back away from you because of it. Also, you don’t have enough time to spend with them and unknowingly, you may be getting further and further away from them.
Solution: If you still want and need them around, you should make it clear to them. Tell them exactly what you need help with. If they don’t seem to understand why you don’t call them all the time, talk to them. If they don’t have children yet, they may not realize how much your life changes after having a baby. And you don’t want to see people walk away from you because having a support system is so important.
You don’t have free time for yourself or your relationship
Before having kids, you had time to go out and enjoy yourself. But now, your baby takes up all your time and attention. You forget to give yourself free time outside of your family and your relationship isn’t as close as it once was.
Solution: What both husband and wife need to do is take time for themselves to maintain their sanity. Find an activity you’ve always enjoyed and return to it once or twice a month. However, you will probably need to lower your expectations and make time for your favorite activities in less time than before.
As a couple, you should also try to go out for the night whenever possible. Simply ask a family member or close friend to babysit while you get the air you need. However, if you start to notice that your intimacy is disappearing, you should try couple therapy before it’s too late.
