According to the book
During the Geography class.
– Ms: Lan, look at the textbook and tell me where the Red River is located?
– Lan: Ma’am! Located in… line 6, page 50 of the book Ge!
– Aunt: ??!!!
The teachers here are so pretty
The teacher and students have prepared all possible situations to make the lesson “safe”.
Half an hour passed smoothly, with 15 minutes left until the time was up, the teacher asked the students the last question:
– Now I will write some English words on the board, please try to translate it into Vietnamese.
The teacher was in the middle of writing a sentence when the chalk fell, she bent down to pick it up and continued to write all the words.
– And now who will translate these words?
Ti immediately raised her hand. The teacher looked around the class, but other than Ti, no one raised their hands, so they appointed Ti to speak.
Ti is very confident:
– The teachers here are so pretty.
– What? I’m out of class!
Ti finished collecting her books and whispered in the ear of the attending teacher:
– If you don’t know, don’t remind me.
A student arrived late for a written exam. After trying to beg the proctor, he was accepted into the exam with a stern warning that he would not accept submissions after 5 minutes.
At the end of time, the other student submitted his assignment 15 minutes late and was rejected by the proctor. He still stubbornly approached the teacher’s desk and asked: Do you know who I am?
– Of course not.
– Can’t you remember my name?
– Do not know! And I don’t even need to know who you are. The teacher sarcastically did not look at the student.
– I’m sorry, then!
– He quickly stuffed his cards in the middle of the deck on the table and disappeared from the room.
Why do you know?
Why do you know?
During class time:
– Teacher: The mole rat is greedy. Every day it eats an amount equal to its weight.
– Teo (raising hand in opinion): Teacher, but how much does a mole know its weight?
– Teacher: !!??
A student nearing the exam suddenly became ill, he went to complain to the doctor.
– Student: Doctor, my memory is broken! Where did I learn to forget that!
– Doctor: Since when did your memory decline?
– Student: Yes, it was at 4:5 minutes 3 seconds on October 25, 10 years ago
– Uncle: God!!!
First thing to do in the morning
Mai: Hung, I ask you, what is the first thing you do when you wake up?
Hung: Too easy! Go to the toilet.
Mai: The answer is completely…wrong. The correct answer is to open your eyes.
Hung: Why say I’m wrong. That’s the first thing I do when I wake up, not her.
Mai: So when you go to the “WC” you don’t open your eyes?
Mai: ??? (does he always sleep in there?)
Logic professor’s reasoning
Then he reasoned:
– Who stole the glasses? Of course, the thief then. And this guy could be nearsighted, maybe not? Maybe he has glasses, maybe he doesn’t. But if he didn’t, how could he see his glasses? This proves that he has not been sighted. If you’re not nearsighted, you don’t need glasses.
After a moment of silence, the professor continued:
– From the above hypotheses, it can be concluded that no one took his glasses. Certainly it is around here somewhere. But I’ve looked all over and can’t see anything. But if I can see like that, it means I’m wearing glasses.
How many more?
– Ti: Quiz you, there are nine cakes in a box. Divide one question among nine people, how many are left?
– Cat: It’s over, there’s nothing left.
– Ti: Wrong!
– Cat: And how many?
– Ti: There is one more… box!
– Cat: !!!?
Tien: Hey, Mai. What is Stupid translated into Vietnamese?
Tien: Oh good. Why do you say I’m stupid!
Mai: I didn’t say you were stupid!
Tien: You didn’t just say I’m stupid!
Mai: No I mean stupid is stupid.
Tien (turning towards Mai) : Stupid !!!
Mai: Oh. Why do you call me stupid?
Tien: Where is it! I’m just practicing my pronunciation! Stupid, stupid, stupid…
Mai (ie spray smoke in the ear)
The student got a bad score because the answer was too correct
– As you know, we humans have 4 blood groups: group A, group B, group AB and group O. People with blood group A can receive blood from people with blood type A or O; People with blood type B can receive blood from people with blood type B or O.
Seeing that Teo was engrossed in talking, the teacher angrily called:
– Teo, can you tell me who can accept all blood types?
Teo was startled, scratched his head and trembled as he said:
– Yes, sir, it’s a mosquito!
Experience in oral exams
A certain student took an exam on architecture, but the teacher asked him every question he could not answer.
Come to think of it, she was her student after all, so she asked the last question:
– How many lights do you think are in this room?
The game raised its head to count, not missing anything:
– Ma’am, there are four!
The teacher shook her head and pulled out a light bulb from her bag and said: – I missed the count, I’ll see you on the exam day!
When the exam came again, no better than the last time, the architecture student was still speechless before all the questions.
She had to condone the same question again: – How many light bulbs do you think are in this room?
This time, the guy really confidently replied:- Ma’am, there are 5 light bulbs!
The teacher shook her head: – You counted wrong again, I didn’t bring any today so I only have 4!
The student immediately replied: – But I bring! (As he spoke, he pulled out a light bulb from his pocket.)
– Just now when you arrested us for asking each other’s cards, you deducted 4 points from me.
– Nam: Well, I got 1 point deducted.
– Quan: Wow, why are you so lucky, Nam?
– Nam: What luck! I got 1 point on the test, how would you deduct 4 points?
– Military: ??!!
Do not copy all
During the exam time, the teacher said to Hoa.
– Teacher: Hoa, did you copy Hang’s lesson?
– Hoa (blushing, standing up): Yes, I did copy but not all.
– Teacher: Where do you not copy?
– Hoa: Yes, I did not copy her name.
– Teacher: ???
Slide or park
– The topic of your essay today is: ‘Please describe or write about your special ability that you think is the best’.
Students bow to do homework. After 5 minutes, Teo submitted an essay with the content: ‘I have the ability to predict the future, I guess I will fail this exam’.
After receiving Teo’s lesson, the teacher asked:
– Teo, is that all about my work? – Yes, ma’am! – The cat nodded.
The next morning, the teacher immediately went to the office to find the principal, then she asked: – Have you seen Teo’s student’s work?
The principal sighed and replied: – Yes, ma’am! But I don’t know how to rate it. If Teo fails, his essay is correct, but if the essay is correct, he must pass. But for him to pass, his essay is wrong, if he is wrong, how can he pass. What a dilemma. Now I don’t know what to do! I’ve had a headache since yesterday because of this.
When the teacher heard it, she was also dizzy.
– Dad: Son, HKII is more advanced than HKI. Term 1 I was the last in class, but Term 2 I improved.
Son: Thank you, Dad. I also have to thank Linh too!
– Dad: What’s wrong, son?
– Son: Because of Linh HKII’s move, I was promoted to 2nd position from the bottom of the calculation.
– Dad: Oooooh…ooh
Signs of pregnancy
– Can you tell me the signs of pregnancy?
Hesitating and not knowing how to answer, he heard you say: Hair loss, bent legs, big belly… He frantically repeats everything.
The teacher then smiled and asked:
– Are my legs bent?
– Dear lord.
– Is my hair falling out?
– Dear Miss.
– Is my belly big?
– Dear sir.
– Then when I give birth I will let you pass the exam.
– Teacher: How many brothers and sisters do you have at home?
– Yes! My family has 5 siblings. First me, then me, then my sister, then my sister, then my sister, finally my sister, my sister!
– Please put a Chinese word and translate it into Vietnamese for me!
One girl raised her hand:
– Teacher, Thien is heaven, death is son. So the Son of Heaven is the Son of God!
– Good, anyone else?
– Master, you are the teacher, Tu is the son. So the Lion is the teacher’s son!
– Teacher: ???
Who discovered America?
– Can you show me where America is?
Ha just on the map.
– Ma’am, here it is!
The teacher nodded.
– Very good! So, now, please tell me who was credited with discovering America?
– Ma’am, my friend Ha.
When the teacher gives the test
The teacher entered the class and said:
– Today we learn a new lesson that is “Circle”. Open your books to learn!
The teacher started to lecture, seeing that the whole class did not seem to pay attention. Teacher asked:
– What do you understand when I teach you?
– Yes no!
– Good, then let’s take the paper out for the test.
The student : !!?
When it was time for class, Hung entered the school gate.
The security guard called back and asked: – Why are you late?
Hung: – My dream is to be a principal
Security: – I asked why are you late?
Hung: – So when have you seen the principal leave early?