People do not often say jokingly: “Fear of his wife will lead to a long life, but putting his wife on his head is immortality”. Today, let’s relax with Toplist with funny stories “fear of wife” to laugh!
1
Quick… That’s my wife
On a cold winter day, the model complained to the artist that it was too cold to be naked.
You are right, so put your clothes on, let’s sit and drink coffee for a bit – said the artist.
After a while, suddenly there was a knock on the door, the painter turned pale, and hurriedly urged the model:
– Hurry, take off your clothes, it’s my wife!
You are right, so put your clothes on, let’s sit and drink coffee for a bit – said the artist.
After a while, suddenly there was a knock on the door, the painter turned pale, and hurriedly urged the model:
– Hurry, take off your clothes, it’s my wife!
2
Let people be afraid
There he is afraid of the other very old now wife.
No matter how his wife shouted, he also kept his mouth shut, not daring to argue with half a sentence. One day, he went to gamble and didn’t come back until late at night.
After blowing the rice, the wife’s sister sat waiting for her husband to get tired of his eyes. She is very angry. When her husband just showed up to the alley, she ran out, grabbed her chest and dragged her into the house, growling.
He just removed his wife’s hand, clutching her chest, and begged:
– Leave me out! I please bu it.
His sister-in-law could grow old, grabbing his hair and pressing his head down. He immediately waved his hand to knock his wife down, accidentally slapped her in pain, then rolled his eyes and shouted:
– If people are afraid, let them be afraid!
No matter how his wife shouted, he also kept his mouth shut, not daring to argue with half a sentence. One day, he went to gamble and didn’t come back until late at night.
After blowing the rice, the wife’s sister sat waiting for her husband to get tired of his eyes. She is very angry. When her husband just showed up to the alley, she ran out, grabbed her chest and dragged her into the house, growling.
He just removed his wife’s hand, clutching her chest, and begged:
– Leave me out! I please bu it.
His sister-in-law could grow old, grabbing his hair and pressing his head down. He immediately waved his hand to knock his wife down, accidentally slapped her in pain, then rolled his eyes and shouted:
– If people are afraid, let them be afraid!
3
Brave man
In hell, Pluto gathered all the men and said:
– Who is afraid of his wife standing aside!
All of them pulled together to “fear his wife” and only one man remained calm. The King of Hell approached him and patted him on the shoulder and said:
– You are indeed a brave and courageous man. Why are you not afraid of your wife?
He replied:
– Yes sir! My wife told me not to gather in crowded places.
– Who is afraid of his wife standing aside!
All of them pulled together to “fear his wife” and only one man remained calm. The King of Hell approached him and patted him on the shoulder and said:
– You are indeed a brave and courageous man. Why are you not afraid of your wife?
He replied:
– Yes sir! My wife told me not to gather in crowded places.
4
Difficult things
I heard your mother say that you never listen to her, right?
– Yes… my womb…
– Don’t be crooked! I just want to know why you did such a hard thing?
– Yes… my womb…
– Don’t be crooked! I just want to know why you did such a hard thing?
5
You are so holy
Once upon a time, there was a philosopher “Confucius”, one day while “people” were talking endlessly in front of his disciples the theory “If you want to become a saint, you must stay away and hate women”, where was his wife? to enter.
Seeing that his master was sweating profusely, a compassionate disciple quickly stood up and replied:
– The teacher teaches the right mind. If you want to win, you have to hate and hate all women, when you already have a woman in your house.
The wife gloated back out, and Mr. “Confucius” howled, hurriedly folded his hands and bowed to the benefactor:
– You are really… Saint!
Seeing that his master was sweating profusely, a compassionate disciple quickly stood up and replied:
– The teacher teaches the right mind. If you want to win, you have to hate and hate all women, when you already have a woman in your house.
The wife gloated back out, and Mr. “Confucius” howled, hurriedly folded his hands and bowed to the benefactor:
– You are really… Saint!
6
Perfume
On a bus, a man asked the woman sitting next to him:
– Your perfume smells so good, can you tell me the name of this perfume? I am looking to buy a jar for my wife as a birthday present.
Before the woman could answer, another man interrupted:
– You better not buy.
“Why?” asked the man.
– Because I bought it, I don’t know how to explain it to my sister.
– Your perfume smells so good, can you tell me the name of this perfume? I am looking to buy a jar for my wife as a birthday present.
Before the woman could answer, another man interrupted:
– You better not buy.
“Why?” asked the man.
– Because I bought it, I don’t know how to explain it to my sister.
7
She… But lucky
Husband arguing with wife. After preparing to leave, he said goodbye:
– I volunteered to be an astronaut here. Better to bump into the celestial bodies, die on a mysterious planet than argue with her for the rest of her life!
Then he went out and slammed the door. But just a minute later came back and said:
– You are so lucky! It’s raining outside.
– I volunteered to be an astronaut here. Better to bump into the celestial bodies, die on a mysterious planet than argue with her for the rest of her life!
Then he went out and slammed the door. But just a minute later came back and said:
– You are so lucky! It’s raining outside.
8
Penalties many times
Rush hour, crowded streets, a man driving a motorbike “like crazy”, was stopped by the police:
– Do you know how dangerous it is to walk like that?
The man looked in a hurry, ready to pay the fine.
– I know… but if I’m late, even by a minute, it’s much more dangerous.
– What do you say?
– Yes, sir… my “lion” will be fined many times more than you guys.
– Do you know how dangerous it is to walk like that?
The man looked in a hurry, ready to pay the fine.
– I know… but if I’m late, even by a minute, it’s much more dangerous.
– What do you say?
– Yes, sir… my “lion” will be fined many times more than you guys.
9
How to stop being afraid?
A man was always ridiculed by his friends because he was afraid of his wife, so he asked a friend how to stop being afraid. His friend advised:
– Try drinking wine, a little yeast will make you more confident when standing in front of her.
A few days later, the husband meets his friend again and complains:
– Stop, stop. I can’t do it that way anymore. The other day, I tried drinking and looking at her in two, my fear doubled.
– Try drinking wine, a little yeast will make you more confident when standing in front of her.
A few days later, the husband meets his friend again and complains:
– Stop, stop. I can’t do it that way anymore. The other day, I tried drinking and looking at her in two, my fear doubled.
10
Can’t have
The tour guide said:
– Here, they burned the body of the last witch in space.
– Incorrect!
A man asked in a low voice, sneaking glances at his wife and muttering:
– I do have it!
– Here, they burned the body of the last witch in space.
– Incorrect!
A man asked in a low voice, sneaking glances at his wife and muttering:
– I do have it!
11
My wife caught…
The judge asked the thief:
– So you broke into the women’s clothing store five times in one night. So what did you get?
– A woman’s ao dai.
– Just one? (The judge asked and raised his glasses to see clearly.)
– Yes, but my wife made me come back four times to change the shirt she liked.
– So you broke into the women’s clothing store five times in one night. So what did you get?
– A woman’s ao dai.
– Just one? (The judge asked and raised his glasses to see clearly.)
– Yes, but my wife made me come back four times to change the shirt she liked.
12
Meatloaf
It was stormy outside, the owner of the bakery was about to close the door and go home when a man ran in in the rain to buy a loaf of meatloaf.
The shopkeeper shyly asked:
– You have a wife, right?
– Yes, I have a wife. Do you think, my mother would send me to buy a loaf of bread in this stormy weather?
The shopkeeper shyly asked:
– You have a wife, right?
– Yes, I have a wife. Do you think, my mother would send me to buy a loaf of bread in this stormy weather?
13
Last day
Why are you so sad?
– My wife swears she won’t talk to me for a week!
– Great! What else are you complaining about?
– But today is the last day of that peaceful week!
– My wife swears she won’t talk to me for a week!
– Great! What else are you complaining about?
– But today is the last day of that peaceful week!
14
Not scared
The wife’s voice in the pipe said:
– Remember to wash the clothes and cook the rice. I have work late tonight.
Hearing that, the husband shouted into the pipe and said:
– Shut your mouth right now! I do not do it. I don’t care if she comes back late or she goes away.
After saying that, he slammed down the mouthpiece. The neighbor who had just entered the door widened his eyes and asked:
“You’re not afraid of her, how dare you yell at her and interrupt her?” When she returned, he died.
– What the hell are you afraid of?
He smiled and said:
– She called and texted her phone in the morning, now I’m back to listen to it again, I “screamed” at her to make her angry.
– Remember to wash the clothes and cook the rice. I have work late tonight.
Hearing that, the husband shouted into the pipe and said:
– Shut your mouth right now! I do not do it. I don’t care if she comes back late or she goes away.
After saying that, he slammed down the mouthpiece. The neighbor who had just entered the door widened his eyes and asked:
“You’re not afraid of her, how dare you yell at her and interrupt her?” When she returned, he died.
– What the hell are you afraid of?
He smiled and said:
– She called and texted her phone in the morning, now I’m back to listen to it again, I “screamed” at her to make her angry.
15
Confession
A man in a drinking party eloquently declared to his friends:
– Being a man who only knows how to love one person and then get married right away is really… stupid.
Suddenly the wife appeared behind the man and whispered:
– Really, dear, are you smart or stupid?
– Ah… ah… of course you… dumb!
– Being a man who only knows how to love one person and then get married right away is really… stupid.
Suddenly the wife appeared behind the man and whispered:
– Really, dear, are you smart or stupid?
– Ah… ah… of course you… dumb!
