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Top 10 things parents should absolutely not do in front of their children

Duong Tuan Bui by Duong Tuan Bui
September 4, 2021
in Toplist, vietnam
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For all children, parents are not only two “angels” who help them have the good fortune to exist in this world, but also act as the first teachers in their lives. It is the parent’s upbringing that has shaped the personality and greatly influenced the development of the children. Therefore, in order to contribute to educating your children to develop in the right direction and become a useful person for society in the future, you need to pay attention to avoid doing bad things in front of your children below.
1

Do not let your children see the relationship between husband and wife

When you have children, you need to be careful and carry out the couple’s “love” in private places, ensure confidentiality and absolutely do not let the children see, because that inadvertently arouse children’s curiosity. , making them want to do “adult play” like their parents, it will be very dangerous.

Many children are very young, but they already know how to be close, cuddle their girlfriends and there are a lot of over-the-top actions that we can’t control just because they want to follow. Therefore, please pay attention to this issue to keep the child an innocent, pure soul in its own right.

Some parents think that primary school age children do not understand, so they can talk about this issue in front of their children without hesitation. However, they do not know that at this stage children have begun to understand and perceive problems through words. Therefore, this is something parents should not do in front of their children. Because talking “privately” in front of children makes children curious and easily tempted to be drawn into adult games when bad guys want to sexually abuse children. Therefore, parents need to pay close attention to this issue!

Do not let your children see the relationship between husband and wife
Do not let your children see the relationship between husband and wife

2

Drunk, smoked

Drunk: Seems simple, doesn’t it? But it is important to make all those who have the habit of drinking aware of this. While we are responsible for the care of the children, do not do anything to harm them, including drinking alcohol while they are sleeping.

Smoking: If you want to let yourself get lung cancer, that’s entirely up to you. But your children do not deserve this, they should not be exposed to tobacco smoke to affect their health.

In fact, smoking while drinking also makes the alcohol seep into the bloodstream faster, and the easier it is to lose consciousness. When drinking alcohol or beer along with the habit of smoking, it not only increases the risk of diseases such as cancer of the throat, lung … but also damage to the brain.

Nicotine in cigarettes causes the brain to make connections between smoking behavior and the surrounding environment. That is, if while you are drinking, someone offers drugs, your brain will automatically remember that into a habit. And since then, every time I drink alcohol, that habit, that desire reappears. Not only that, the combination of tobacco and alcohol is also a chemical and psychological reaction. First, nicotine and alcohol can cause the brain to release dopamine, the neurotransmitter responsible for feelings of pleasure.

Drunk, smoked
Drunk, smoked

3

Compare and criticize your child in front of everyone

Every child is an individual and no child is perfect. Children can be very good at playing video games but learn very poorly, or they can study very well but have poor communication skills. What parents need to do is try to encourage children to do what they are weak and develop what they already do. Criticizing children in front of others only makes them hurt, unruly, rebellious if they are grown up and self-deprecating when they are young.

When the house has guests or when the family gathers to meet and interact in crowded places, young people often tend to want to “show” themselves, and that is a very normal psychological expression of children that parents need to understand. . Perhaps because of shame, the child wants to cover up that shame by acting strange, awkward and awkward.

Or maybe it’s because the child is so happy to meet other people that he becomes excited about doing this and that. Or it may be that you want to attract the attention of those around you (especially boys) so you like to do new things. And parents only stand on their own judgment of their children’s actions, but do not understand the psychology of why they want to do that. Children do not intentionally want to do wrong to make their parents sad, but parents scold, especially in front of others, both embarrassed and hurt their self-esteem, children will become self-conscious about themselves. I go a lot.

Especially for children who have grown up to be self-aware or begin to be independent in their thoughts, being scolded by their parents in front of others not only makes them embarrassed, but also makes them more stubborn and wants to react. resisting parents, so the more parents talk, the more children do the opposite.

Compare and criticize your child in front of everyone
Compare and criticize your child in front of everyone

4

Forbidden me to talk to other people

Usually when they are angry with each other, parents are often “heavy and light” and no one says a word to anyone. What’s worse is that the parents even forbid the child from talking or being close to the other person. The quarrel is an adult’s matter, so we should not involve the child.

In this case, parents should choose a clever way to handle it so that the children realize that their parents are shouting at each other. If parents continue to impose or forbid their children to interact with the other person, it will make the family atmosphere even more tense, the child will be awkward, the temperament will become erratic and difficult to understand.

If you are upset and have something unpleasant to say to someone else, you should wait at least until the child is not there before talking. Because back-and-forth words can affect children’s thoughts and actions, especially when children have not yet maturely controlled their behavior and thoughts.

Forbidden me to talk to other people
Forbidden me to talk to other people

5

Shout at me.

Scolding your child: If you scold your child in the face, chances are your child will also become rude and grumpy in the future. Some people think that it is smart for children to yell at others, but in fact, this is not good.

It is not true to say that parents insult or berate their children because they do not love their children. While saying harsh words, they always think that it can only see and correct the defect. The second reason for parents to resort to “word of mouth” is the inability to educate their children. When their children are at fault, parents often threaten and punish them with spanking. Seeing that it is no longer effective, they switch to them. to use gentle, but instructive words.

Seeing that the child did not change, the parents had to resort to harsh words. Just like that creates a vicious circle, not helping the child to improve, but only deepening the guilt. Life is hard, stressful, work pressure, making parents’ minds always tense like strings. So when they got home, how much frustration, parents poured on their children.

Children are very sensitive and easily react to insults from adults. So when talking, when educating, even when criticizing children. Even if you are not perfect (there are no perfect parents…) your children must respect and obey you. And once you humble yourself before your children, your children will become weak and no longer fear their parents. Gradually, you will develop a sense of pride.

Shout at me
Shout at me

6

Don’t argue in front of your kids

Life is not always peaceful, it is inevitable that there will be times when “rice is not healthy, soup is not sweet”, disagreements and leads to shouting at each other. Because of their anger, many fathers and mothers could not help but throw out angry and obscene words right in front of their children. Unknowingly, those images and words were imprinted in the child’s subconscious and caused consequences later on. All the beautiful images that parents are working so hard to build are gradually lost in children.

Children also gradually develop fear, less close to their parents and less obedient to their parents. More seriously, the baby will also have the same actions as parents did with relatives and friends when “cannot find a common voice” and sometimes for no reason at all. Therefore, no matter how conflicted or angry you and your husband are, you should try to act like nothing happened and be happy in front of your children and then talk to each other privately. With this approach, you not only “score” with your child, but also help you practice restraint and stay calm.

It is inevitable that husband and wife have conflicts, disagreements and leading to quarrels. However, because of being too angry and unable to control it, many people have had angry actions and words with each other in front of their children and accidentally those images and words have been imprinted on their naive thoughts. children, causing unfortunate consequences. Parents arguing, loudly in front of their children will not only lose their beautiful, respectable and respectable image in the eyes of their children, but also make them feel insecure right next to their parents. Psychological fear, less closeness to parents, less listening to parents gradually formed.

More dangerously, the children will have the same actions and words as their parents did to their relatives and friends, sometimes for no reason at all. Therefore, no matter how much you and your spouse have conflicts, or are angry with each other, try to be happy in front of your children and then talk to each other privately. That not only does not create a bad impression in your children’s minds, does not lead to possible unfortunate consequences, but also helps you practice restraint and keep calm.

Controversial content and attitudes of both will hurt children. Children are born mentally depressed, discouraged and tend to live negatively. Not to mention the image of parents will be deteriorated, will no longer be an example of children. This will make parenting difficult. Instead, parents can “handle the conflict” when there are no children at home or going to a place with just the two of them.

Don't argue in front of your kids
Don’t argue in front of your kids

7

Don’t fight in front of your kids

It’s not good to argue in front of your child, and it’s worse to fight in front of your child. Many times when anger reaches its peak, unable to control behavior, many couples have “uppered their legs, lowered their forearms” without paying any attention to the presence of their children. This action unintentionally affects the innocent and pure soul of the child.

Children will think that fighting is completely normal, the way to solve all problems, gradually they become taciturn, quiet, prone to violence and even careless. Therefore, parents, please train yourself to be calm, to have good control so as not to act violently in front of your children and to avoid regrettable things happening in the future.

The fact that parents quarrel in front of their children has caused bad consequences, but it is even worse for parents to fight in front of their children. Sometimes because of anger, because of being too angry, many couples fight without caring about the presence of their children, this is an action that affects the innocent souls of very large children. Children will think that fighting is completely normal, a way to solve things, gradually they will become taciturn, quiet, do not listen to their parents, which can lead to autism, even children. can be violent towards everyone.

If parents have a conflict leading to a fight and let the child see it, it will unintentionally hurt the child. This heartbreak can follow the child for the rest of his life. From there, a negative attitude will form. More serious is the risk of facing depression in children, being stubborn, growing up, children will become aggressive, resolve conflicts by violence.

In most families where parents often quarrel and fight in front of their children, the children tend to like violence, live carelessly and have a high risk of autism, becoming criminals. You should note, it is best to train yourself to be calm, to have good control so that you don’t do inappropriate actions in front of your children.

Don't fight in front of your kids
Don’t fight in front of your kids

8

Don’t lie in front of your child

In life, it’s not always the words that are “as sharp as a knife” that make your relationship more cohesive. Sometimes, harmless lies can also help minimize the outbreak of an unnecessary argument. But parents should remember that, for any reason, you should not lie in front of your children, because they think simply if parents can speak, they can also speak, then it will be difficult for you to adjust. their child’s misbehavior.

It may be that you lie to other people, your spouse lies to each other or you lie to your child, because the baby will think lying is not a wrong thing, not a thing not to do, There is no harm and so the baby will learn to lie as a “learner” and completely harmless, so you have set a bad example for your child already. Every parent has lied to their child, especially to a young child. But do not lie to children whenever possible, because doing so will make it difficult for parents to teach their children not to lie to others.

If this is repeated, children will assume that lying is not bad at all, gradually forming lying in children. At first, he lied to his parents, then he lied to everyone around him. First lie about small things, then lie about big things. Therefore, parents should limit lying in front of their children. If you fall into a situation where you need to lie, you must be very sensitive and explain it to your child.

Therefore, for any reason and under any circuTaxances, you should not lie in front of your children, do not let the children lie with the thought that their parents can speak, they can also speak, then you will not know. What should I do to correct this misbehavior of my child?

Don't lie in front of your child
Don’t lie in front of your child

9

Don’t argue about money in front of your children

Many mothers have a habit of complaining about money in front of their husbands and children, or there are husbands who criticize and criticize their wives’ wasteful or strict spending without paying attention to the presence of their children at home. there. These money stories are often given at meals or family gatherings and are questionable, which will make children become pragmatic, form the habit of calculating and thinking money is everything.

Money is a delicate matter, but many parents overlook it. Parents criticize each other how to spend money, how to earn money or use money to give to grandparents, bosses, acquaintances… Calculating money in front of children makes children develop a way of respecting money, becoming more pragmatic. .

Children’s souls are fragile and fragile. Parents complaining about money in front of their children will make them more self-conscious to their friends. You will feel sad, lonely and obsessed about money. Therefore, about money and family expenses, parents should avoid talking in front of their children. In order for children to understand and sympathize with their family situation, parents should teach them how to save money, let them participate in community activities, and help those in difficult circuTaxances, so that children can form a tolerant and kind heart.

Young children sometimes do not understand things and can’t think yet, but they also have their own feelings. When parents teach children something, they should behave in accordance with what they have taught in front of them. You are the role model for your children to follow, so please correct them as parents!

Don't argue about money in front of your children
Don’t argue about money in front of your children

10

Do not speak ill of others in front of your child

This bad character will make children unknowingly affected and grow up with similar tendencies. When judging others, they can only see it from a negative perspective. So badmouthing others is one of the things parents should not do in front of their children.

Instead, parents should remember and think of good people who do good deeds so that they can talk to each other in the presence of children. Complimenting or finding the good things of others on the table is also a way to teach children to be smart. Because through that story, children will understand what is good and what is bad to help form a right lifestyle later.

It is not good to say bad things about anyone in front of children, because those bad words will negatively affect children’s thoughts and perceptions, making them look at life with negative eyes and thoughts.

From there, they will have the wrong attitude and hate the person their parents have badmouthed, even they will learn from their parents to say bad things about this person or that person. Therefore, parents should learn from experience, be careful about their judgments and statements about others in front of their children.

Do not speak ill of others in front of your child
Do not speak ill of others in front of your child

There will be a lot of things parents should not say, should not do in front of their children so that they can develop comprehensively, mature and be more brave in life, but things parents should not do in front of their children. The above are common mistakes that many couples often make, leaving unpredictable consequences for the development of the baby. Toplist hopes parents need to hone their skills and experience to raise their children better!
Tags: early educationeducate childrenjobs to avoidmost common mistakethe most should not dovietnamwhat not to say
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