The best vova jokes number 8
Story #1: Origin
The teacher explains that the origin of mankind comes from the curiosity of Adam and Eve.
Vova raised her hand:
– You said it wrong, my father said that our ancestors were KING.
Natasha turned and said:
– Vova, the teacher didn’t specifically mention your family background
Story #2: Biology
Today, I feel sad and go back to school.
Dad asked:
– No wonder why are you so sad
Voi va: I have 0 biology subject
– Why is it 0
– The teacher asked the children to find 2 examples of flying mammals.
– Example 1: bat – very good
– Example 2: the flight attendant!!!
The best vova jokes number 3
Story #1: Peanuts
Boris invites his friend Vova to visit his grandmother. She asked Boris to fix the faucet in the kitchen. Vova sat outside in the living room and waited, sipping all the peanuts on the table. When leaving with friends, Vova thanked her and explained:
– I thank you for the peanut plate. I ate it all without leaving a single seed for you.
– It’s okay, it was a plate of chocolate before! Since she had no teeth, she had already sucked all the chocolate shells around the peanuts.
Story #2: Dad is the most miserable person
The teacher told Vova: – If you are lazy, you will only make your parents miserable.
– My father said that it was you who made him suffer, had to think a lot and sometimes even had trouble sleeping.
– I’m not joking, am I?
– Slightly blushing, the teacher asked again. I say more to go?
– Yes, because you give too much homework, my father can’t do it.
The best vova jokes number 6
Story #1: Show off your uncle
Natasha, Anto and Vova sat and talked.
– My uncle is a teacher, so everyone who meets him has to call him “teacher”.
– My uncle is better, my uncle is a priest, everyone who meets him has to call “father”.
– Not far from my uncle, anyone who meets my uncle from afar must say “God”!
– What does your uncle do?
– My uncle is… “terrorist boss”!!!
Story #2: Contact book
Vova complained to her roommate:
– Yesterday, I was beaten by the old man twice.
– Why?
– The first time I showed the old man the contact book, which contained all the bad grades and the teacher’s lines about mischief. The second time was when the old man realized it was his old contact book.
The best vova jokes number 9
Story #1: Vova goes to the supermarket
Vova took her brother to a supermarket, picked up a pack of tampons and brought them to the counter. Curious, the cashier stared at the two children, then, unable to contain her curiosity, asked.
– How old are you?
– I’m eight. – Vova replied.
The cashier asked:
– Do you know what this is for?
– I don’t quite know. But this is not for me, but for my brother. – Vova pointed at the younger brother walking next to him.
– For my nephew? The girl’s eyes widened in surprise.
– Yes. It’s four years old. We watched it on TV and they said that, if we use this, we can swim and ride a bike. And it doesn’t know both of those things…
Story #2: Vova .’s musical gift
One day Vova went out and picked up a wallet, Vova immediately called the Live Music Gift program:
– Sir, yesterday I found a wallet, in which there is 50 million dong in cash.
Quiet announcer: So what can we do for you now?
– In addition, in the wallet there is a business card bearing the name and address of the deceased. I would like to give the person whose name and address is on the song “It’s gone” with a sincere thank you!
The best vova jokes number 4
Story #1: Mammals
Today, I feel sad and go back to school. Dad asked:
– No wonder why are you so sad
Voi va: I have 0 biology subject
– Why is it 0
– The teacher asked the children to find 2 examples of flying mammals.
– Example 1: the bat – very good – example 2: the flight attendant!!!
Story #2: Can’t open
Vova often shares the bus with Natasha.
One day, Vova gathered up the courage to give Natasha a piece of paper, on which was written:
“I like you so much, if you agree to be friends with me, give me this piece of paper, and if you don’t agree, throw it out the window.”
After a while Natasha handed over the old piece of paper, Vova happily opened it, and on the paper it was written: “The window can’t be closed.”
The best vova jokes number 10
Story #1: The sausage making machine
Vova’s father bought a small factory that produced sausages and said to Vova:
– If we put 1 lamb in here, we will get 9 hams. Two bars paid to the state, kept 7 bars for themselves. Got it, Vova?
– Don’t understand.
– This place puts the sheep, this place gives the ham. 2 departments submitted to the state, 7 departments left. Understand?
– Too difficult so understand. So is there a machine that just does the opposite, Dad?
– Yes. That’s your mother.
Story #2: Truth
One day, Vova went to the teacher’s class to teach students about a truth that “has the merit of grinding iron to become a needle”.
Her example: If we work hard to raise a flock of chickens, later we will get delicious eggs.
Vova below tells my friends next to me that I don’t need to raise chickens to get eggs.
The angry teacher immediately called Vova to get up and kicked her out. When she went out, Vova still tried to look back and said “I will raise a flock of ducks”…
Aunt:??!!
The best vova jokes number 1
Story 1: Vova .’s school day
Today, an inspection team came to check the class, everyone in the class prepared very carefully, only Vova was…
Creature hour.
The teacher asked a question:
Why do plants grow faster when we fertilize?
– Ma’am, because… because the tree could not stand the stench of manure, it grew up really fast! – Vova is quick.
-?!
Writing practice time
The teacher collects essay writing exercises with the topic: “Describe your pig”. Vova stood up and begged her to beg for the weekend, she asked:
Why haven’t I finished my essay yet?
– Yes… because my father has not returned from work yet!
– Ah! Probably by doing household father, right?
– It’s not! I just wanted to describe it accurately, so I jumped into the pigpen to measure its length. As for… how much weight, I have to wait for my father to come back and tie up and carry it to know.
-!!!
Geographic time
Vova and Tom discuss the theme of four seasons. Tom asked Vova:
– Why is the cold season called winter?
– Because in the cold season, lying in a crowded place will be warm.
– So why is the hot season called summer?
– Because… in the hot season, it’s cool outside in the summer. You even need to ask that?
Physics hours
Teacher: When we go to sea, if the boat is accidentally punctured,
What should we do if water rushes into the compartment?
Vova: Ma’am, you have to handle it quickly or it will sink, I’ll punch another big hole
rather than letting the water out.
At the end of the lesson, as a result, Vova got the picture
“ticket” invites parents to meet privately with “excellent” recent “achievement”.
Story #2: Vova invited her teacher to eat candy
Break time Vova wants to invite her teacher to eat candy!
Vova says:
– Miss, do you like to eat candy?
Teacher:
– Thank you, I like it very much.
The teacher finished speaking and took the candy that Vova offered and put it in her mouth.
– OH! it’s great! Thank you again!
Vova: I think so too! But I don’t understand why both the dog and the cat at my house spit out!!
The best vova jokes number 5
Story #1:
Today’s teacher wears a new shirt, with roses embroidered on her chest. Seeing the students staring intently, the teacher was very happy and asked: “Do you know what roses live on?”
Vova replied: “Madame with milk.” The teacher blushed and chased Vova out to the hallway.
The principal passing by saw Vova wandering there, asked about the situation and then said: “Vova you are wrong, roses live on feces and urine”
Vova mumbled: “I didn’t know its roots were so long”.
Story #2: Fairness
– Vova stood in the doorway of her house to welcome young men who came to flirt with her sister:
– I saw you hugging and kissing Maria!
– Don’t say it out loud, give me 2 rubles.
– Thank you, I’ll pay you 1 extra ruble.
– Excess???
– Yes, I took from all of you equally
– 1 ruble.
The best vova jokes number 2
Story #1:
During the writing class, the teacher assigned the whole class to write a test with the topic: What if you were the director?
The whole class was engrossed, working hard, but only Vova didn’t do it, sitting around poking fun at the friends around.
– Vova, why don’t you do your homework?
Vova punctured the request: Ma’am, I’m waiting for the secretary =))
Story #2:
During class, the teacher:
– Whoever considers himself a fool, stand up!
The whole class sat still.
After a few minutes Vova stood up.
Teacher:- Vova, do you consider yourself an idiot?
– No, but let me stand alone like that…
The best vova jokes number 7
Story #1: Vova .’s teacher
Came home from school and came home with a sad face
Dad asked: Voi va, why are you so sad?
– I got 0 marks in Literature.
– Why 0 points?
– The teacher asked the child to make sentences with the word “teacher”
– So how do I put it?
– I put a question: The teacher is a slut!
– Sick..
– The angry teacher gave me 0 points and went up to the principal.
– Then what?
– The principal patted my head, gave me 5000 and asked where the teacher’s house was!
Story #2: ?History Hour
During the French history class, the teacher saw Vova absentmindedly and suddenly asked:
-Vova, who took the Bastin?
– Ma’am, I don’t take it.
The teacher is really angry, parents are invited to school. Teacher says:
-In the history of France, I asked who took the Bastin prison, Vova refused to listen to the lecture and replied: “Miss, I don’t take it”. You can not help it.
Father Vova replied:
-My nephew is honest, he said he won’t take Basti, which means he won’t. However, let me go home to see if it’s kept at home.
The teacher was so upset, she told the principal.
Without hesitation, the Principal said:
– If children get it, they’ll just get bored and pay it back.
